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Dec. 29th, 2005 @ 01:29 pm very nervous
Current Mood: distresseddistressed
I have a couple of frames hanging on the wall in my study at home. These frames contains some pages of a comic book called "Johnny the Homicidal Maniac." I saw these frames with the pages already in them in the back of a Hobby Lobby where I used to work. I fell in love with them. The art is done well, and the stories are very funny, albeit grim and morbid.

My parents are visiting us this weekend.

My dad saw them and asked my wife about them (I'm at work. Carolyn just mentioned it on the phone.)

My parents are super-uber religious.

We're about to spend four days in a cabin in the mountians at Petit Jean State Park.

I'm sick to my stomach because I can sense a confrontation coming. I think I'm going to have to tell my parents that I don't believe in God anymore. I'm scared out of my mind because I know that they love me and they are going to think that I am now destined for the fires of hell. And they are going to try to fix that.

But I've had too many bad experiences with church and church people and my uber-religious family and with my own quest to get closer to God. None of which have helped me to believe that God actually exists and loves me and everyone else and is constantly present in our lives and Jesus was a divine being and Job got a good deal in the end.

I love my parents and I know they love me. I don't want them to feel like they've failed and I sure as hell don't want them to think that they have to try harder.

Ugh!
About this Entry
tommy
rbbowie:
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From:deleriumb32
Date:December 29th, 2005 09:27 pm (UTC)
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I think you posted this in the wrong place. I do not want to make you feel bad, but nothing you said had anything to do with debate.
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From:rbbowie
Date:January 3rd, 2006 04:08 am (UTC)

oh yeah...

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I guess you're right. I just posted this into all of the "religion" forums I could find to get as many opinions and thoughts as possible. I guess I could say "Yes it is" and start a debate.
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From:blue_cat
Date:December 29th, 2005 10:07 pm (UTC)
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Hum, Debating the question you havn't asked: "How do I tell my parents that I no longer believe in GOd"

What do you believe in and are you prepared to lie, or cirucmnavigate the truth in any discussion that comes up?

Can you honestly say that you no longer wish to attend church as you don't feel your local ones are leading you closer to God?

Of course you may find that this is all a waste of worry and your parents won't make a big fuss over it.
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From:shaquanda36
Date:December 30th, 2005 02:50 pm (UTC)
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First, Petit Jean is a nice place.

Second, just be honest. That's all your parents should expect.

Third, I'm sorry you've had bad experiences with "church people." My unfortunate experience is that many church people are further from God than many non church people.
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From:rbbowie
Date:January 3rd, 2006 04:10 am (UTC)
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Preach on, Brother! My experience exactly.
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From:shaquanda36
Date:January 3rd, 2006 04:27 am (UTC)
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It's too bad that such people will not only drive someone from church, but even from the basic belief in God.

Argh. Christians. What can you do?
From:halejo
Date:December 31st, 2005 04:53 pm (UTC)
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It is true that some 'church people' can be judgemental, close-minded and generally not much fun to be around (but can't we all at times?). And I've noticed that they're always telling you what you 'should do', e.g. you 'should' go to church whether you want to or not.

Might I make a suggestion. Perhaps it is time for you to stop going to church for awhile. Just stop going and put it aside for the time being. And then perhaps your next step could be to determine whether or not God really does exist. You know what I'm saying? Just start from square one with no preconceived notions - rather like a science experiment where you have no idea what the outcome might be but whatever it is it is. That seems rather an important thing to determine before one even bothers about all of the church and church people stuff.

One last suggestion (I promise). Maybe reading one of the gospels could be a good starting place. And not just read it (although certainly that's the place to start) but perhaps acquire some additional material as an aid to get you through and ensure that you have a good understanding of what you're reading, assuming you don't already that is. I would also recommend the book Mere Christianity by CS Lewis. It's just the facts (from the Christian point of view naturally) presented in a clear, concise, non-judgemental and sometimes humorous manner. The man could write.
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From:rbbowie
Date:January 3rd, 2006 04:15 am (UTC)
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Yes, the man could write! I really enjoyed the Chronicles of Narnia when I was younger.

Your suggestion about backing away from church for a while is exactly what I'm doing. I haven't been active in church for 6 years. I'm only just now getting to that place where I can start from scratch. Overbearing Christian ideals and dogma take some time to wear off. I see why the Dark Ages lasted as long as they did.

Thanks for the advice.
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From:everenthralledx
Date:January 7th, 2006 08:14 am (UTC)
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I guess parents act the same, no matter what age their children are. I'm sixteen years old and I'm going through the same thing you are.

Ultimately, you'll have to decide which matters more: your independence and your own individual beliefs, or your relationship with your parents (and possibly your whole family.)

Good luck. Don't leave your Occam's Razor behind.